Friday, December 28, 2012
 
I HAVE A GOOD BAD MEMORY PROBLEM
Perhaps you have heard this old joke before, it goes something like this:
An elderly couple is shopping in a large Florida supermarket. Some time goes by when the wife realizes that her husband is nowhere in sight What to do!

She is very upset until she sees a store clerk and starts telling the clerk about her missing husband.

The clerk is not unfamiliar with handling upset customers, suggests the lady calm down and describe what her mate looks like.

"He's short, wears glasses, has thinning gray hair and has a pot belly."

"Lady, every man in this store looks like that!"
I thought of this old joke because I have a situation that is somewhat similar.

It's been five months since I have been a resident at Brooksby Village and I keep meeting new people. That's a good thing!!!

My problem is, I have trouble remembering their names or recognizing them. Most ladies are not too tall, some are skinny, some are not so skinny, most have short white hair and wear glasses.


Images: Betty White Google Image Search

Everyone is very friendly and when I pass someone in the hall they say "hello." I don't know whether I have met them before or they are just plain friendly.

For example the other day a lady said, "Hello, Millie."

She really knew me - who's that lady, I thought until she said, "how did the slacks fit?"

Oh, then I realized she's the dressmaker that came to my house to alter a pair of pants!

When I meet a small group of women I try to connect their name with something. If her name is Dorothy, I think of a dot, if her name is Sue, I think of a lawsuit.

The other night I met six women at dinner. Wow, I'll be lucky to be able to recognize them when I see them again.

After dinner I spoke to one of the ladies privately.

I told her how I felt about "not remembering." Her response was, "don't beat yourself up, it takes at least six times after meeting someone new to remember their name. I'll remember her!

How do you remember the names of new people that you meet?


Comments:
I am totally hopeless with names. Always have been. So I just call everyone Sarah or Burt and let them correct me.
 
Millie, I just realized how much I like your name and that it's definitely going on my list of potential girl names (I'm not excpecting, but someday...).
 
I seldom do remember, Millie, and I didn't even when I was younger. Psychologists say that is the mark of a self-centered person, but I prefer to think of it as not paying enough attention. I'm told that if you use the person's name when you first meet and talk, that you won't forget his/her name.
 
Unless I make a really strong connection with someone, I too will forget their name until I've re-met them at least 5-6 times. I'm not shy about asking either--"I know we've met, but..." Most are pleased that I take time to ask. Good article, Millie, and relevant.
 
Kathleen

Great suggestion about "asking" for their name again. That should make me feel more comfortable and please the person who I would like to know better.
 
Too funny Millie. The newcomers I meet on my dog walks tell me their names over and over I am sure. My husband remembers most names. Go figure. Dianne
 
I have the same problem remembering names in my senior complex, and six times isn't working for me. I've had to write names and descriptions in a little notebook, even to the point of diagraming their locations in the complex. I either carry the notebook with me or review the names before I leave the apartment. Two problems with even that is that two of my neighbors could be twins except one is healthy the other is not. Yet and still, I tend to still get the two of them mixed up. And ... when I meet new people, I generally forget their names before I can remember to jot down in the notebook. Bwahahaha. This is an interesting topic so, when I post to my blog tomorrow, I'll insert a copy of my notes/diagram.
 
When it really bothered me was when I was a teacher and could not remember the names of my students sometimes.
It's tough to remember names. These days I figure that when I am interested enough in a person, I will learn her name. And I find that others can't remember my name a lot of the time, too.
 
I write the names onto my notepad on my iPhone. I have pages of notes that I can go back to with the heading of the place or organization where I met that person. I do a review each time I attend that particular place or event.
 
Millie--Like Kenju, I frequently don't recall names and never did. I did appreciate the name tag that one person with whom I worked on a disaster response wore. It said:

Hi - My name is SANDY
I don't remember YOUR name, either!

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