My Mom's Blog by Thoroughly Modern Millie

Sunday, September 01, 2013

DRIVING MISS DAISY
It has to be a good twenty five years since I saw the movie "Driving Miss Daisy."

As I think about it now I realize there are many reasons that I remember this movie so fondly and so well.

The movie stared Jessica Tandy as Miss Daisy, a wealthy strong willed old Jewish woman, and Morgan Freeman as her African American chauffeur.

Dan Aykroyd was her understanding and patient son.

As Miss Daisy aged, she became more dependent on her chauffeur, and yet she was impatient with him. The years go by and toward the end of her life she has a genuine love for the man who has been there forever 'to meet her needs."

I was in my 60's when I saw "Miss Daisy" and even then "felt" for her. Her son did whatever he could to help his mom but she didn't fit into the community and was "alone." The chauffeur understood her and put up with her crankiness and demands. What a pair they were!

So what made me think of this movie that I saw so long ago?

I'll tell you.

I've been living at a retirement community for a year now, meeting people from nearby communities and many who come from out-of-state.

They are mostly in their 70's and 80's, high school graduates, college graduates, homemakers, office workers, and many who have had amazing careers.

So many times the conversations turn to when they drove, and why they had to give up driving.

The story I hear most frequently is where the son or daughter is concerned that the parent is moving to a new area and they will not know the roads, and let me tell you, the roads in Boston are tough.

So the newcomer gets here with NO CAR.

Another story I hear is that the family is concerned that the parent is no longer capable of driving and they either sell the car or give it to a grandchild.

I hear that story time and time again.

True, the person should not drive anymore, they are a threat to themselves or is a danger on the highway, but by not driving anymore they give up their independence, and that's a very hard adjustment.

Even though Miss Daisy didn't drive, and gave her driver a hard time, she had a good friend and right hand man to take her were ever she wanted to go.

I still drive, although I don't drive at night, don't drive long distances, or drive into the city.

Tomorrow I'm going to a family party that is far away, and on the other side of the city.

My kids are arranging for a car service to drive me.

Tomorrow, the driver will be Driving Miss Millie! ;-)

posted by millie garfield @ 10:40 PM | Permalink | I LOVE COMMENTS >>

Comments:

We have just arranged for my mother to have a standing order for a driver. Every Tuesday he will come and take her to all her errands and appointments. I can see this job coming back, the driver, just now shared amongst many elders rather than devoted to one.

# posted by

LPC : 10:45 AM

I intend to stop driving when I turn 80 or become incompetent, whichever comes first.

# posted by

Hattie : 4:10 PM

Hi Millie,
I still drive my car occasionally however I hired every Monday a driver to help me do my grocery shopping. We go together and buy the groceries and she puts them in the car, brings them into my home and we put everything away.
As we get older we need more help to function and run our homes.
I guess this is what they call
ASSISTED LIVING!
So glad you are able to be independent with a little ASSISTANCE.
Take Care and Enjoy the Change.
They say Change is Good????????????
Nanci

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:07 PM